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Amusing thoughts and funny headlines

I spotted these in the August 2014 issue of Readers Digest:

I bet cats have a secret web-site where they upload clips of cute humans trying to open DVD packaging and jump-start cars.
– @rolldiggity

I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they’re going to be talking.
– @juliussharpe

Firefighters Use Jaws of Life to Free High School Girl from Locker

FDA Approves Third Silicone-Gel Breast Implant

Missing Woman Unwittingly Joins Search Party for Herself

Woman’s “Stomach Bug” Actually Baby

Saturday Joke

Why I’m Depressed

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel , “Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land.”

Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, “Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land.”

Today, the government has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised Land!

I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and everything…

I called a Suicide Hotline.  I had to press 1 for English.

I was connected to a call center…in Pakistan .  I told them I was suicidal. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Now Hiring Clinical Study Manager

Sigma-Tau Pharmaceuticals is looking for a Clinical Study Manager to work in their Washington, DC area office.

If you’re interested, send your resume to me at: chris@focmnetworking.com and I’ll get it in the right hands or you can search for it on LinkedIn and apply via the directions there.  The job description is below:

Job description

POSITION PURPOSE:

The Incumbent will serve as a clinical representative for assigned projects. In association with his/her immediate supervisor, manage the development and implementation process of Sigma-Tau’s services involving the Clinical Affairs department or cross-functional teams focused on the delivery of new or existing projects.  The Incumbent will monitor projects from concept through completion. (S)he will organize and coordinate the interdepartmental and outside vendor activities ensuring completion of the projects on schedule and within budget constraints to ensure success of the projects at all stages in the clinical process. The incumbent will also ensure compliance with applicable Sigma-Tau Standard Operating procedures and guidelines. 

DAILY RESPONSIBILITIES:
For assigned projects:

  • In collaboration with department leads, manage the progress of clinical studies
  • Assure clinical study conduct is in compliance with Sigma-Tau SOPs, Good Clinical Practice Guidelines and federal regulations governing the conduct of clinical studies
  • Works with department leads to maintain projects within intended timelines and projected budgets
  • Identifies issues affecting study conduct and work with department leads on satisfactory resolution
  • Develops requests for proposal (RFP) and coordinates the selection of CROs and outside vendors
    • Manages outside vendors and contractors
    • Tracks  key project metrics and action items
  • Tracks progress of all clinical study activities, including regulatory compliance, site selection, enrollment, site monitoring, drug supply, adverse events/serious adverse events, data management, biostatistics, and medical writing
    • Assist with the development of study protocols
    • Assist with the development of study timelines and budgets
  • Track vendor and site payments Develops and/or coordinates the development of documents in support of clinical studies (CRFs, ICFs, manuals, etc)
  • Work with internal departments and external vendors to establish appropriate study processes to ensure compliance with guidance’s and regulations.
    • Reports progress of clinical projects to management Participate in the development, review and approval of vendor agreements and budgets
  • Assesses training needs for Clinical Affairs project staff; conducts and documents training of team members
  • Oversee study activities by Sigma-Tau staff, vendors, and contractors
  • Supports site management and monitoring efforts as needed
    • Monitoring of select sites to assure protocol & GCP compliance
    • Participate in the development, review and maintenance of Clinical  Affairs SOPs
    • Other duties as assigned 

SPECIFIC JOB KNOWLEDGE, SKILL AND ABILITY:

    • RN or Bachelor’s degree within a health/biomedical sciences field, or related field and equivalent experience.
    • 4+ yrs experience in clinical research with the monitoring and/or management of clinical studies in the pharmaceutical industry or at a CRO with experience in managing multi-center study set-up and execution.
  • Knowledge of GCP, ICH guidelines and US FDA regulatory requirements for the conduct of clinical trials.
  • Strong critical thinking skills.
  • Strong ability to prioritize and organize workflow activities in a fast-paced environment.
  • Proficient in basic computer programs such as MS Office Suite and MS Project.
  • Excellent communication skills; ability to tactfully communicate sensitive information.
  • Ability to work independently and in a cross-functional team environment.
    • Must demonstrate excellent planning and organizational skills and an ability to generate creative solutions for complex problems.
  • Basic understanding of clinical development, regulatory and QA, CMC, clinical trials operations and project management methodology.
  • Ability to travel at least 20% of the time.

Job Opportunity Global Head of Consumer and Professional Marketing

ZetrOZ Inc, a consumer wellness and healthcare company based in Trumbull, CT, is seeking an experienced consumer and professional healthcare marketing professional to deliver savvy marketing strategies and tactics to help drive product revenues and grow the organization.  Looking for someone with 12-20 years experience, who understands and thrives in startup lifestyle; fast-paced, strategic and tactical, eager to roll up the sleeves and get to work.

They are a fun, innovative, team playing group. Job description is in the link below.  You can have resumes sent to me (chris@focmnetworking.com) and I will forward them or you can reply directly to co-founder George Lewis (george@zetroz.com) and mention you saw it on FOCM Networking.  (They’re a startup – so we’re relying on networking, no recruiters.)

ZetrOZ is revolutionizing the medical therapeutic industry with its proprietary technology, including the recently introduced sam®, sustained acoustic medicine, (www.samrecover.com) and UltrOZ® (www.ultroz.com), miniature wearable ultrasound devices for accelerated recovery and pain management. 

FOCM_Consumer & Professional Healthcare Marketing for ZetrOZ Oct 9 2014

A word of caution to couples

 

On elitedaily.com was this article: 

On a warm day in the waters off Italy’s Porto San Giorgio, a couple decided to get physically connected in the water.  Unfortunately, they could not uncouple afterwards, no matter how much they tried. Things got uncomfortable quickly.  Read the full article below.

http://elitedaily.com/news/world/couple-gets-stuck-ocean-sex/803638/

FOCM Welcomes Peter Benton

At the Drug Information Association Annual meeting in San Diego, Peter Benton received his FOCM card.  This photo does not adequately capture the sheer joy that Peter experienced during the ceremony.  Peter has been diligently working to complete the secret membership requirements for a couple of years.  Having finally been deemed worthy, I surprised him with an impromptu card ceremony.

Peter Benton
Peter Benton

Two New FOCM Members

At the Outsourcing in Clinical Trials -East Coast meeting in May two new members joined FOCM.  Pete Nieto (in his usual spot in the bar) introduced me to Michele Grabowski and Michele introduced me to Karen Pypniowski.  That was one of the quickest time from first meeting to initiation in FOCM that has been ever recorded since the organization first began recording this data.  Pete and Michele (Karen’s sponsors) are visible in the background of Karen’s ceremony.

MIchele Grabowski
MIchele Grabowski
Karen Pypniowski
Karen Pypniowski