I’m sure you’ve seen LinkedIn Recommendations; here are 4 that Kendra Eash found and wrote up in the New Yorker:

1. Greg is a rare mix of faux intelligence and stalled ambition. Just when you think he’s completely checked out during a meeting, he’ll ask a rhetorical questions padded with corporate buzzwords or look up from his phone to restate something we already know. A mediocre addition to any company!
2. I’ve had the great fortune of having my bathroom schedule synced with Maria’s for over two years.  Every time we see each other in there, we smile and shake our heads, as if to say, “Here we are again! Peeing at the same time!” I think she’s also responsiblefor the internal newsletter.
3. John and I worked together for more than four years. In that time, I was always impressed by his ability to take many more vacation and personal days than were allotted.  All in all, he’s a real wizard at staying employed.
4. How can I sum up Judy in one paragraph? I can’t, because she will probably rewrite it. A brilliant micromanager and leader of team anxiety, she never met a project she didn’t want to take over.

A few funny things I’ve recently read in Reader’s Digest:

English as a Second Language students try so hard and are so appreciative.  One teacher reported these statements: “You teach English good”, “I will always forget you”, and “I thank you from the heart of my bottom.”

After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in a pen, he reports back to the farmer: “all 40 accounted for.”
“But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer.
“I know,” says the sheep dog, “but I rounded them up.”

I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi network than my first child.