Seen in my in-box from my brother but I took liberty to modify it slightly:

So, I was walking through the mall and I saw that there was a “Illegal Immigrant Bookstore”

I was wondering what exactly was in such bookstore so I went in.

As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me,

I imagine I didn’t look like his normal clientele, so I asked, “Do you have a copy of Donald Trump’s book on his U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Illegal Aliens?”

The clerk said, ” F—k off, get out and stay out!”

I said, “Yes, that’s the one. Do you have it in paperback?

Spotted this on FOCM Member Matt Foster’s Facebook page with a post from Lisa Wilhelm

A police officer called the station on his radio.

“I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”

“Have you arrested the woman?”

“Not yet. The floor’s still wet.

I like satire and parody and “the Onion” does a great job of it.  Like this recent one about the long pondered question: what was the ZZ Top song “Legs” really about?

http://www.theonion.com/article/zz-top-reveals-meaning-behind-classic-song-legs-50799

So there I was just in the right place at the right time, well okay, not entirely true, as an industry heavyweight, I received an exclusive invitation from SynteractHCR to attend a reception they were having while I was in Washington, D.C.  The event was held on the rooftop of the building where the famous Old Ebbitt Grill restaurant is.  There is a great view of the White House from up there.  So it was not a surprise to see some Secret Service people.  Then all of a sudden out walked President Obama (or was it?).  Thanks SynteractHCR for a great reception.

Reggie Brown does a great job as Obama, really has mannerisms, smile and speech down well.  For more info about him: http://reggiebrownobamaimpersonator.com/about/

Saw this in a newsletter:

A man passed out on the beach in San Diego for four hours (couldn’t have been in June) and got a horrible sunburn, especially to the front of his legs above the knees.  He was taken to the hospital by worried friends.  He was admitted to the hospital after being diagnosed with second degree burns.  The patient was in severe pain and the skin was already blistering.  The doctor prescribed IV saline, electrolytes, a sedative and pain medicine.  He surprised the nurse by telling her to give the patient a Viagra pill every four hours.

The nurse asked, “What is the purpose of the Viagra, Doctor?”

The doctor replied, “It won’t do anything for his condition, but it will keep the sheets off his legs.”

A termite walks into a bar and asks, “is the bar tender here?”

Joke submitted by FOCM member Bill Moody, a Yuman and a Kofan of high standing, whom I hold in some type of regard:

since i got a smart phone i dont wear a watch anymore. In fact i tied all the watches together and made a belt. it was a waist of time.