Philospher Jokes

Submitted by Andrew Smith

Rene Descartes is sitting in a cafe.  He orders coffee.

The waiter asks, “Would you like cream?”

Descartes replies, “I think not!” … and Descartes disappears.


Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of “Being and Nothingness”.  He says to the waitr5ess, “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.”

The waitress replies, “I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream.  How about with no milk?”


Heisenberg and Schrodinger are on a road trip, when a cop pulls them over.  The officer walks up and asks if they know how fast they’re going.

Heisenberg replies that they do not, but they do know with high precision where they are.

The cop thinks that is a weird response and begins to search the vehicle.  He opens the trunks and asks, “did you know you have a dead cat in the trunk?”

Schrodinger says, “well, now, we do.”

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