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Joke for Tuesday

Saw this in a newsletter:

A man passed out on the beach in San Diego for four hours (couldn’t have been in June) and got a horrible sunburn, especially to the front of his legs above the knees.  He was taken to the hospital by worried friends.  He was admitted to the hospital after being diagnosed with second degree burns.  The patient was in severe pain and the skin was already blistering.  The doctor prescribed IV saline, electrolytes, a sedative and pain medicine.  He surprised the nurse by telling her to give the patient a Viagra pill every four hours.

The nurse asked, “What is the purpose of the Viagra, Doctor?”

The doctor replied, “It won’t do anything for his condition, but it will keep the sheets off his legs.”

Business traveling idiosyncrasies

So, at a recent conference, a few of us were talking about business travel and discovered that we all have “traditions” or habits or idiosyncrasies when traveling.  For example:

When checking in at a hotel, I put the paper key holder with the room number and my room key (always ask for 2 keys) in my right rear pocket.  It always goes in my right rear pocket and I always keep the paper key holder with it, because it contains my room number.  At the recent conference, a co-worker asked if he could have the paper container as it had the wifi password and he wasn’t staying there.  I said, absolutely not, I wouldn’t know my room number without it.  I refused to give it to him because I always keep it with the key in my right rear pocket.  So he took a picture of the wifi password on the key holder.  When telling a friend, she said, first thing she does is take a picture of her room number and then throws the paper key holder away – for personal security reasons.  She also takes a picture of where she parks in the parking garage (very smart).

Another thing I do is ask for a hotel room between floors 2 and 7.  Does anyone know why?

On the plane, I prefer aisle seat and if I can’t get exit row, I get a seat within 5 rows of an exit row.  Same reason as above.

I know someone who always goes for a window seat and always on the left side of the plane, because she finds it easier to sleep leaning against the wall with her left shoulder.

As tradition, I also always (if you don’t always do it, it can’t be a tradition is my belief) get a beer at the airport on the flight home.  Okay, sometimes they say “a tall beer for a $1 more?” and I say, “of course” and sometimes they also say, “add a shot for only $2 more?” and I say, “of course”.  It’s always good to take the bargain.  One time, while traveling home from a trip, I did the usual, stopped in the airport bar, ordered the beer, then agreed to the tall beer and the shot.  So I got a tall beer and a shot of tequila and posted a picture of them onto Facebook with the comment: “what is it about airport bars that I like so much?”.  I was rather shocked when a friend responded: “because you can drink at 10:30 in the morning”.  He was right, it was only 10:30 in the morning!  But a tradition is a tradition.

Political Version of Psalm 23

saw this on facebook posted by a Jonathan Iarael

Obama is my Shepherd; I shall not work.
He maketh me to lie about the green job market:
He leadeth me beside the still factories.

He restoreth my sloth:
He leadeth me in the paths of hyping his self-righteousness for Barack’s name sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of debt,
I will fear no workforce: For thou art funding me;
Thy welfare and thy food stamp, they comfort me.
Thou preparest new taxes before me in the presence of this bad economy;
Thou annoyest my head with oil prices; My pot runneth over.

Surely ungratefulness and hypocrisy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the housing of the Obama forever.

*** Public Domain. Please feel free to share! grin emoticon

April 26 not a good day for Hillary

A common approach the Clintons employ during an issue or a crisis is to blame others.  Does she not understand that the buck stops in the office she wants to hold.  How can she run our country if she is having trouble running a foundation or keeping an eye on what is going on in the State Department.

http://www.bloomberg.com/politics/articles/2015-04-26/clinton-foundation-acknowledges-mistakes-as-schweizer-calls-for-investigation