Excuses to Avoid Networking

So when I was working for YPrime, I met a tall fellow named Andy Russell. He had quite a CV (that’s Curriculum Vitae for those who don’t know) {Another side note, that reminds me of a great t-shirt I saw: People say I’m condescending: that means I talk down to people}. But let’s get back to the key features of Andy’s CV:

  • Taller than the average man
  • Quarterback candidate for the NC State Wolfpack; however, I do not see any mention of NC State on his LinkedIn profile, so my memory may be failing me – maybe it was at Cornell with the Nard Dog or University of Maine, but regardless, I bet this tall guy can toss a football over 60 yards
  • When fully-bearded and wearing a hoody sweatshirt with back lighting on a web meeting he appears quite intimidating
  • Goes out of his way to escort venomous snakes out of his basement believing they’re the answer to ending the rodent problems in the greater Philadelphia metro area

But I digress. The real intention of this post was to share his sense of humor. I had invited he and many other YPrime colleagues to go out for some casual networking, he appeared to be less than 100% available. So I gave him excuses in advance:

Getting the house re-roofed?
[AR] – I rent my place
Girlfriend has other plans for me?
[AR] – she’s got BIG plans for me
Family is in town?
[AR] – they were last week
Gotta get home and turn on the lawn sprinklers?
[AR] – I don’t have a lawn but have been known to have to “water my sidewalk” to avoid commitments
Meeting the cable guy at the house?
[AR] – we’re getting rid of cable
Fortune teller advised against it?
[AR] – THIS is my excuse this time
Jury duty?
[AR] – I make sure that my disdain for authority is documented in my Jury Questionnaire so as to never have to go
My plot to take over the presidency of the book club is thickening, and I must stay home to make sure everything is working out smoothly.?
[AR] – I can’t read
I have to go to the post office to see if I am still wanted.?
[AR] – this might be true
Mani/pedi appt?
[AR] – this was the girlfriend’s other plans for me!
Hair cut and color appt.?
[AR] – after joining the software business, I really could use the color treatment…
Now that these responses are from 8-ish years ago – it is possible that a Hair Color for Men Get out the Gray is in order.