Humor

Have you seen something funny or amusing that you want to share with the group? This is the place to do so.

Jokes for Sunday

A man woke up in the hospital after a harrowing operation.  Full of dread, he asked the nurse, “did things go okay?” The nurse replied, “they were able to save your testicles.” The man let out a huge sigh of relief.  Then the nurse handed him a plastic cup and said, “they’re in here if you’d like to see them.”

Chuck was out walking… Continue reading

More Funny Things I Have Seen

More humor seen in Reader’s Digest:

The chihuahua at my vet’s office was quiet right up until a huge Rottweiler came in.  Suddenly, the six-pounder became Cujo -barking and growling.  It’s owner said, “oh please, the only way you could hurt that dog was if you got stuck in its throat.”

Parent tweets: Four year old said he went potty and I asked if… Continue reading

How to spell searches

Saw this recently and think it’s amusing.  Google published the most searches for “how to spell” a word by state.

Here are a few of them:

California – beautiful

Maryland – special

Nevada – available

Pennsylvania – sauerkraut

South Dakota – college

Wisconsin – Wisconsin

Arizona – tomorrow

In my opinion, Pennsylvanians win for actually having a word that I could see people needing to… Continue reading

Newly created words

Saw these in Reader’s Digest October issue which were excerpted from “That should be a word” by Lizzie Skurnick:

Bangst – noun; stress over diminishing funds. Example: He read hte ATM printout carefully, filled with bangst.

Fidgital – adjective; excessively checking one’s smartphone.

Flabsolution – noun; pardoning yourself for weight gain.

Palbatross – noun; A friend you’d like to drop.

Tyrunt – noun; child who bosses… Continue reading

Laughter is the good for our health

Going through some things and found these funny things in several Reader’s Digests:

  • When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning,” I sleep until noon, because I’m a problem solver.
  • A woman was lying in bed one night when she felt her husband’s hand caressing her neck in a way she hadn’t experienced in quite a while.  The hand then slid… Continue reading

Hump day humor

It’s Wednesday – a good time for adding humor to your day:

From Readers Digest May 2017 issue:

My friend, a county public health nurse, was reviewing a student’s medical records when she noticed that the girl and her mother share the same first name.  My friend asked, “doesn’t that ever get confusing?”  To which the girl said, “oh no, I just call her… Continue reading

Recent Amusing Things I Have Read

From the May 2017 Readers Digest come these humorous items:

Sent in from Kendall Barrowes from Spanish Fork, Utah: “Our friend her her four-year-old son were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant when in walked a man covered in tattoos.  The boy turned to him and said, “looks like somebody got into the markers.”

Sent in from Natalia Skrodzki: “one of my biggest fears… Continue reading

Jokes contributed by FOCM Members

So one of FOCM’s members texts me random humorous items.  I share some of them with you today:

What did the ocean say to the sailboat? Nothing.  It just waved.

 

What did General Custer say at Little Big Horn when he saw the Indians coming? “Here come the Indians.”

 

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball against each other? Juan on… Continue reading

Facts or Feelings Matter

This was sent to me by FOCM Member and former womb-mate of mine, Jon Matheus:

Facts don’t matter

Golf Jokes for the weekend

Here are a few golf jokes for you to enjoy:

A golfer standing on a tee overlooking a river sees a couple of fishermen and says to his partner, “Look at those two idiots fishing in the rain.”

A young man with a few hours to spare one afternoon figures that if he hurries and plays very fast, he can get in nine holes before he… Continue reading